My drive

I have been driving to work everyday ever since we have moved close to my office. Now my office is only 7km away, so a very drivable distance in my city of Mumbai.

As any other Mumbaikar I used to get annoyed by the constant honking, the impatient rickshaw drivers and the digging up of the roads. However, after a few days I realized I lower my spirits every morning because the traffic situation in Mumbai which will probably improve only after my lifetime! I’m only bringing harm to my life, by raising my blood pressure with every passing minute of waiting at the long traffic signals and the concentration required for maneuvering thru the incoherent traffic. I vowed never to sulk on my ride to office any more.

Today I started at my usual time. I smiled at the security guard who opened the gates to let me on to the road. I have to cut across a busy road, dominated by buses and trucks to get to the right side of the road. I waited patiently until one of the vehicles carelessly slowed down and took my chance to cut across, very obviously avoiding the stares from the astounded driver. Some men take it as a personal insult if some other vehicle crosses the road in front of their vehicle.

Once on my side of the road I turned on the music and switched the music channels to find any channel not having loud and blabbering RJs. These days the RJs have only a handful of topics – the weather, the traffic situation or 26/11. They try to introduce new characters like the Saas Bahu serials, such as Ghanta Singh who randomly calls people and annoys them until they bang the phone on his face, or more recently Sexy Suzi who tries ineffectively to turn on the men’s libido by speaking in a husky voice.

So quite evidently I try to avoid these characters to listen to some soothing music for the road.

I drive at a constant speed, mechanically, after one year of using the same route. I know which side of the road won’t be hogged by the buses, the potholes to be avoided and the traffic signals which can be safely skipped. 2 out of 5 days I get stuck behind a tempo (younger sibling of the truck) at a red traffic signal. The back of the tempo usually contains some equipment and a group of men who are probably been transported to unload. As soon as they see a women driver they turn to each other sniggering and act like a bunch of monkeys who have a new found interest. I’ve not been able to figure out whether it’s the seat belt across the upper body, the proximity to a modern woman helpless in front of them or plain boredom that sparks their act. However, they continue their act of foolishness until the women looks uninterested and returns to powdering her nose or switching thru the music channels. I have tried giving mean stares or mouthing swears, but that only excites them further. So ignorance is bliss, works in this case too.

The rickshaw-walas especially get very impatient at a traffic signal. They are hit with edginess within half a minute of waiting. They try keeping themselves busy by constantly honking or moving an inch to the left or right to find a magical route to cut thru the traffic. I realized after a long time, if one has to stop their impatient behavior at the traffic signals, one has to find something to keep them occupied. The eunuchs and beggars do their bit to distract them; however that also doesn’t last for long either.

I even tried analyzing the honking behavior of people. Usually people honk so that other people on the road, those including other vehicles, pedestrians, and the stray animals are aware of their proximity. Incessantly honking is the most common form, the pulsation of which is directly proportional to the impatience levels of the drivers. The shrill, blaring horn is the ‘get of my way you slow poke’ sign, while the traditional ‘beep’ is the friendly way to communicate the same. Occasionally a driver is in a creative mood and tries to create a rhythm with the honking, which can be quite annoying for others. I avoid honking as far as possible. But in some circumstances one can hardly avoid it. I remember a funny incident, when I was driving my colleague from Austria to one of the hangouts close to office. He was so excited when I let him honk when we were stuck at a jam, since he was honking after 7 years or so. In Austria if you were to honk at someone, there better be a good reason to do so; people are very embarrassed if they are honked at. If it were to be the case here, we would have to redefine the term ‘embarrassment’!

My eventful 20 minutes drive to office ends with an exercise regime for my neck, eyes and hands. Parking for women doesn’t come so easily, as for men. It took me a couple of years to learn the techniques of parking, which the male clan is born with. But I’m not complaining. Just like the women clan are born with in-built reminders, cleanliness and proving to be better managers at home and at work, men should have some benefit of being born as men!

If being deprived of parking skills was not enough, I have to do the parking bit at a parking lot which has only 100 parking places for 1000 employees. So the security guards are burdened with the responsibility of utilizing every inch of the parking space, which could help in accommodating more cars. I am asked to pull in and pull out a couple of times only now, (down by a good, not to be mentioned number) to park just inches away from another car, leaving just enough space to squeeze myself out.

Phew! I’ve finally reached my destination, after an action-packed drive. I told you, I’m not getting annoyed any more, infact I enjoy my drive these days!

Heaven on Earth - Jammu

Picture this: Standing at the highest possible point with a view of overlapping mountain ranges with snow clad peaks exposing the beautiful valleys with frozen riverbeds, surrounded with tall leafless abandoned pine trees, snowflakes which slip from the bare branches and have fallen at your feet. No I’m not taking you into dreamland; this was what I experienced when I was at Patnitop a few kilometers upwards from Jammu. I still can’t get over the exhilarating feeling when the icy cold breeze and the sharp sun rays take chances at piercing your cheeks(which are the only exposed body part), the snow balls when crumble on your back and a sudden gush of mountain air tightening the spine.

If Heaven is not better than this I would rather live here on Earth!!!

This is a beautiful poem penned by my Aunt, who is a nun, working with the tribals and locals in Mizoram, Assam.

HOME SWEET HOME

Our parents lit the lamp of love
So many years ago
And poured their oil of faith
To brighten all above

They built a house of wood and stone
But a home with hearts full of love
And polished it clean and bright
With labor day and night

A house is not a home without
Pots, plates and cups
Or flowers waving all about
And children growing up

As the days and years passed by
Their love brought us forth
They wiped our tears when we cried
And watched our steady growth

Our home became a treasure chest
Of joy love and peace
Laughter, shrieks that we loved the best
Anger and fights had no place

We shared our joys and sorrows
Which came on our way
Illness, hardships and problems
That strengthened us night and day

Those priceless years have passed away
With growing and settling apart
Yet sweet memories come on our way
Though we meet and part

The smell of home cooked curries
One can never forget
Flowers, fruits, nuts and berries
And streams shinning bright

You called our parents to be your own
They walk freely your golden shore
Grant us Lord that we may come
And be with them in eternal home


For us now our house of old
A relic of yesterday
The sloppy roof and entrance hall
Just whisper the days of gold

The walls still glow from loving care
Showing all signs of wear
They have seen all of birth, death and tears
And laughter down the years

Our old neighbours all have gone
Who lent their helping hands to all
No books to write no words to tell
I say with Thomas Campbell –

“ The more you live, more brief appear
Our life’s succeeding stages
A day to childhood seems a year
And years like passing ages “

Lord on life’s road we travel
Its friendly flame we see
And may its light keep shinning
Through all the years to be

Sr. Doyline(bottom row - leftmost)

Work relationships

Today my colleague left the organization.... And I'm still have a lingering feeling of losing a good friend... I'm the kind who gets attached very soon, enuf to miss even just a friend quite terribly..

I had some time in hand so I decided to find out if, making strong, personal relationships at work is really healthy?

There are numerous workplaces in which employee relations are often characterized by utter indifference -- or, worse, jealousy, mistrust, and outright animosity. But I haven't felt that it my team at any point of time, interdepartmental relations somehow incline to those angles though..

A research paper had employees categorized

Engaged Employees - Passionate employees having a profound connection to the org and the people

Not-engaged - "Checked out" personalities, downright indifferent to the work environment

Actively disengaged - Typical lot of employees who are disinterested and frustrated and make it a point to spread the feeling.

Infact since a significant portion of our lives are spent in essentially hostile territory,a rocky workplace relationships may be detrimental to an organization's functioning.

Especially for knowledge workers(IT pros like me) as technology grows ever more complex, jobs become increasingly specialized. That means workers rely on each other more to generate products and services. If problems or tensions hamper these interdependent relationships, delivarables become vulnerable.

With the ever changing technology scenarios and huge expectations from orgs, dependencies on team-mates increases, hence it is essential that we make our work relationships more meaningful to enjoy work as we enjoy family life...

Happy Birthday Liddy!!!

Wishing my dearest, prettiest, naughtiest and bestest aunt a Happy Birthday with the cutest bear hugs and sweetest kisses from all in the family!!!
Well I don't think she is more than 25 yrs (i'll be murdered if I mention her real age on the net ;)) and she will stay that age for many many years to come :)

Have a great time on your birthday, wishing you a year full of happiness and success!

25th aniversary celebrations!!!

Love seems the swiftest, but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century. - Mark Twain

Married on - 4 January 1981

Silver Aniversary - 4 January 2006



Together they have found a friendship, raised a family, and built a beautiful marriage.

We, the children of Lawrence and Nancy D’Souza, would like you to share in the renewal of their vows at a solemn Eucharistic celebration of joy and thanksgiving on Thursday, 5 January 2006, 7.45 p.m., at Infant Jesus Chapel, Malwani.

Dinner and celebrations will immediately follow the ceremony, at Bageecha Lawns, Malwani.

~Amie and Antu

Presents in blessings only


:) k that was how the invitations cards looked.

This was one party which my bro n me arranged, without any help from mom n dad. Infact they didn't even know wat to expect there.

We had close to 70 guests - only relatives n closest friends. We r all very social people so narrowing down the guest list was one tough task... phew!

Anyway everything went thru like a dream... the church ceremony n the post party.