I have been driving to work everyday ever since we have moved close to my office. Now my office is only 7km away, so a very drivable distance in my city of Mumbai.
As any other Mumbaikar I used to get annoyed by the constant honking, the impatient rickshaw drivers and the digging up of the roads. However, after a few days I realized I lower my spirits every morning because the traffic situation in Mumbai which will probably improve only after my lifetime! I’m only bringing harm to my life, by raising my blood pressure with every passing minute of waiting at the long traffic signals and the concentration required for maneuvering thru the incoherent traffic. I vowed never to sulk on my ride to office any more.
Today I started at my usual time. I smiled at the security guard who opened the gates to let me on to the road. I have to cut across a busy road, dominated by buses and trucks to get to the right side of the road. I waited patiently until one of the vehicles carelessly slowed down and took my chance to cut across, very obviously avoiding the stares from the astounded driver. Some men take it as a personal insult if some other vehicle crosses the road in front of their vehicle.
Once on my side of the road I turned on the music and switched the music channels to find any channel not having loud and blabbering RJs. These days the RJs have only a handful of topics – the weather, the traffic situation or 26/11. They try to introduce new characters like the Saas Bahu serials, such as Ghanta Singh who randomly calls people and annoys them until they bang the phone on his face, or more recently Sexy Suzi who tries ineffectively to turn on the men’s libido by speaking in a husky voice.
So quite evidently I try to avoid these characters to listen to some soothing music for the road.
I drive at a constant speed, mechanically, after one year of using the same route. I know which side of the road won’t be hogged by the buses, the potholes to be avoided and the traffic signals which can be safely skipped. 2 out of 5 days I get stuck behind a tempo (younger sibling of the truck) at a red traffic signal. The back of the tempo usually contains some equipment and a group of men who are probably been transported to unload. As soon as they see a women driver they turn to each other sniggering and act like a bunch of monkeys who have a new found interest. I’ve not been able to figure out whether it’s the seat belt across the upper body, the proximity to a modern woman helpless in front of them or plain boredom that sparks their act. However, they continue their act of foolishness until the women looks uninterested and returns to powdering her nose or switching thru the music channels. I have tried giving mean stares or mouthing swears, but that only excites them further. So ignorance is bliss, works in this case too.
The rickshaw-walas especially get very impatient at a traffic signal. They are hit with edginess within half a minute of waiting. They try keeping themselves busy by constantly honking or moving an inch to the left or right to find a magical route to cut thru the traffic. I realized after a long time, if one has to stop their impatient behavior at the traffic signals, one has to find something to keep them occupied. The eunuchs and beggars do their bit to distract them; however that also doesn’t last for long either.
I even tried analyzing the honking behavior of people. Usually people honk so that other people on the road, those including other vehicles, pedestrians, and the stray animals are aware of their proximity. Incessantly honking is the most common form, the pulsation of which is directly proportional to the impatience levels of the drivers. The shrill, blaring horn is the ‘get of my way you slow poke’ sign, while the traditional ‘beep’ is the friendly way to communicate the same. Occasionally a driver is in a creative mood and tries to create a rhythm with the honking, which can be quite annoying for others. I avoid honking as far as possible. But in some circumstances one can hardly avoid it. I remember a funny incident, when I was driving my colleague from Austria to one of the hangouts close to office. He was so excited when I let him honk when we were stuck at a jam, since he was honking after 7 years or so. In Austria if you were to honk at someone, there better be a good reason to do so; people are very embarrassed if they are honked at. If it were to be the case here, we would have to redefine the term ‘embarrassment’!
My eventful 20 minutes drive to office ends with an exercise regime for my neck, eyes and hands. Parking for women doesn’t come so easily, as for men. It took me a couple of years to learn the techniques of parking, which the male clan is born with. But I’m not complaining. Just like the women clan are born with in-built reminders, cleanliness and proving to be better managers at home and at work, men should have some benefit of being born as men!
If being deprived of parking skills was not enough, I have to do the parking bit at a parking lot which has only 100 parking places for 1000 employees. So the security guards are burdened with the responsibility of utilizing every inch of the parking space, which could help in accommodating more cars. I am asked to pull in and pull out a couple of times only now, (down by a good, not to be mentioned number) to park just inches away from another car, leaving just enough space to squeeze myself out.
Phew! I’ve finally reached my destination, after an action-packed drive. I told you, I’m not getting annoyed any more, infact I enjoy my drive these days!
